August 31, 2024 | Tagged Motivation,
What is your level of happiness on and off the court?
The pursuit of our own happiness is the primary motivator in everything we do according to ancient philosopher Aristotle. Do you believe that is true? Consider your life—what makes you unhappy and what makes you happy? What are the commonalities between the two? Often people equate requirements with unhappiness and choice and autonomy with happiness. If I can choose what I do rather than I am obligated or required, I like it better.
But what is the actual research around happiness and why is the pursuit of happiness often illusive? Take a dive into this life-changing topic on how happiness impacts our health, our decisions, our relationships, and our future.
What is happiness?
It’s both a state of mind and an emotional feeling that all is well. People can report feeling happy even in difficult situations and some can report feelings of deep unhappiness even in the most idyllic settings.
What are the four stages of happiness?
Stage One: Immediate gratification. Something found to be pleasurable in the moment such as eating a favorite food, doing a favorite activity, experiencing something fun, or comforting, or exhilarating.
Stage Two: Winning and Accomplishment
This is happiness that comes from success, achievement, acquisition of title, fame, power, money, prestige. This is how the majority of the world lives. This is the classic survival of the fittest. I’ve got to get mine. I am happy when I am winning.
Stage Three: Serving and Benefiting Others
Happiness comes from finding meaning outside of our own self gratification and personal benefit. We find happiness when we bring healing, hope and help to others.
Stage Four: Optimal Good
Happiness is found in the highest aspects of life—love of God, people, and the virtues of Truth, Justice, Beauty, Love, Goodness. We find joy when we bring optimal good not just to our family or our group but to the world and to God.
The Typical Cycle
We want to feel happy so we pursue happiness by doing what we want, when we want. We like cookies, we see the cookie, we eat the cookie and feel happy. This is how young children live who have not understood how happiness now can lead to unhappiness. As we gain wisdom, we find we can’t always do what we want or what feels good in the moment. Pursuing only what brings immediate pleasure will lead to greater misery.
As we enter in school and sports, we begin succeed. We see that eating the cookie could cost us a win later down the road. As we begin the race to win, this race quickly a question of who am I better than and who is better than me--How do I learn to dominate, to achieve. This can quickly lead to unhappiness because it leads quickly to comparison. To compare is to despair and robs us of joy. When we are winning, we feel pressure to keep winning. When we are stagnant, we can become afraid. When we are losing, we can become discouraged and depressed, we can want to give up. With winning comes the danger of contempt and isolation, with plateauing comes the stress and fear of losing what we have, with losing comes discouragement and even the desire to quit.
Living for meaning and service immediately catapults us out of the comparison game and into greater life meaning, vision and hope. As a team, the score board becomes less important as creating a team with power, unity, skill mastery, and true brotherhood or sisterhood. These kinds of teams transform our lives.
When we look for the highest good, we form basketball systems and communities that make everyone stronger not just a few. Instead of one team dominating the city, we build teams that create an ecosystem of healthy and meaningful competition that brings gratitude to everyone who participates. A community of strong players and leaders who make everyone stronger.
BASKETBALL HAPPINESS
This is one of your most important tasks as an athlete to answer. What brings you joy playing this amazing game? If you only love this game when you are winning, the best shooter, the teammate with the most points and the best stats, you are looking at creating a life that is based on comparison.
When you look at the NBA and WNBA athletes who are the most happy, these are the players who build meaningful relationships and looked to serve others rather than only trying to be the best and bring glory to themselves.
Most of us believe the lie that money and fame will bring satisfying happiness. This is not true. What brings the most joy and happiness are meaningful relationships based on love, trust, and deepest friendship.
Teams who love and serve each other are happier than those who dominate the game but have no meaningful connection.
The bonds we make on our basketball team teach us how to build lifelong friendships that can not only sustain us but encourage and elevate us to achieve more than if we were alone.
The adage it’s lonely at the top doesn’t have to be true. Loneliness is as great a threat to our physical health as drugs and alcohol. It robs us, and eventually means a shorter life.
Each of us who have the honor to play this amazing sport of basketball must ask as we step onto the court, “Is this going to be all about me and my happiness? Am I going to spend the game thinking only of my stats, my experience, my personal success? Or am I going to serve my team, my coach through my attitude, gratitude, grit, resilience, courage, tenacity, and deepest heart? Can I find happiness in the ultimate good which is playing for God’s glory, playing to love others, playing for goodness, truth, justice, beauty and above all love?”
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