December Volleyball Blog-- Humility on the Court

Key Word Humility
“Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less.” C.S. Lewis

One of the two definitive qualities of great leaders according to Jim Collins in his research on the difference between good and great companies is humility. “Oh Lord, it’s hard to be humble when your perfect in every way”, lyrics from a famous song reveal that humility is a pretty tough road. Articles about humility touch on researchers’ frustration to figure out humility. How can you really measure humility? If you say, “Rate how humble you are on a scale of one to ten”, those who rate themselves high might be just the opposite. Narcissists and egoists believe they are humble. In truth, humility is best assessed by others. So here’s the deal, how humble would others say you are? That’s a question every leader should ask.

If humility is one of the two crucial qualities of great leadership on or off the court, then we should do all we can to become more humble. This newsletter outlines key ways to be more humble, not only in your own estimation but in truth. Our hope is for those you lead and serve to say, “You are a great leader and humility is demonstrated in your life.”

What is Humility

Humility literally comes from the root which means “of the ground”. It’s where we get the expression, “down to earth.” Self-deprecation or disgust in yourself after a mistake is not humility. It is a form of self-focus. According to research, humility is defined in three consistent ways.

1. Humble people have accurate self-assessment. You see the truth about your abilities and qualities. You don’t overrate or underrate. Humility is a willingness to see oneself accurately.
2. Humble people have an appreciation for others. They can value and recognize the strengths of others and have grace toward others. shortcomings. They have gratitude for people and generosity of spirit. They are not judgmental or condemning. They listen to others. They are willing to associate with people who have a lower position or a different status. They recognize their need for people.
3. Humble people are teachable. They are flexible, ready, and anticipate learning. They can change course when a plan doesn’t seem to work. They can admit mistakes.

Humility on the Volleyball Court
One of the biggest separators for college coaches right now is finding the humble player. College teams are tired of the prima donna and the player that is all about herself. Playing with a leader who cares about the success of the team above personal stats changes team chemistry. Servant leadership is contagious and if leaders look to serve their team, the entire team changes. Conversely, selfishness is also contagious and breeds entirely different team chemistry.

Leaders with the power of humility place the team before themselves.
They never let others down. They discipline their actions to be the highest way.

What threatens your ego?

Being a great player, coach or person requires us to stay self-regulated when our ego becomes threatened.

“Humility is most accurately judged when it is under strain. Humility involves self-regulation which, like a muscle, can be “weakened” with short-term use, but strengthened with regular exercise. Just like courage is easier to judge in the context of danger, humility ought to be easier to judge in contexts that evoke egotism, defensiveness, and conflict.” Quote taken from an article entitled, “Measuring Humility and its positive effects,” from the Association for Psychological science.

How do you handle the following?

• Criticism
• Correction
• Failure
• Rejection
• Losing
• conflict

Qualities of Humility in Conflict

• Open minded
• Willingness to acknowledge another point of view
• Willingness to receive feedback
• Ability to acknowledge the strengths and success of others
• Appreciation for the contribution of others
• Teachable
• Flexible

If you want to be your best, the question is not how well you believe you do on these qualities, but how those on your team and who coach you would say about you.

Coaching with Humility
Humble coaches have power. They do not abdicate (give up) power through humility they gain and wield power wisely because of their humility. What defines a humble coach? A coach who is not driven by ego or pride. NBC Director, Kim Lauwers, is a model of humility. Coach Kim was the high school volleyball coach of the year for the USA, she has won multiple state titles. One of the key qualities you will notice about Coach Kim is her lack of ego. Her players believe she cares, she is fair and she is flexible to listen and adjust. She never lets her ego interrupt her vision and mission for the team. One of the hallmarks of Coach Kim Lauwer’s leadership is her willingness to serve her team. Each player knows she would do whatever it takes to help them be successful.

Take some time to review your season. How much did you have to navigate your ego? The greater the crisis you faced, the more your ego has to be self-regulated. Crisis exposes our ego tendencies. Do your players, even the ones that don’t get much time, feel that you would do everything in your power to help them become their best?