September 29, 2024 | Tagged Leadership,
How to improve your communication with your basketball coach or teammates
COMMUNICATION
Let's take a look at the importance of strong and clear communication, as well as what can go wrong on and off the basketball court. Sports, family, school, work…all these require skills in communication. The quality of your communication will be directly related to the quality of your relationships.
Simple changes can have massive results.
What is communication?
Here is a good definition: communication is a two-way exchange of both verbal and non-verbal information with the purpose of building an understanding.
Basketball Communication
Communication is mostly non-verbal and contagious. A bitter and divided team is easily discovered. There are cliques, negative facial expressions, snappy and harsh tones, sometimes eye rolls, apathetic movement on the court and coldness off the court. There are complaints and criticism when talking to others about the team.
A united team is easily recognizable. There is joy in the greeting and partings, there is kind laughter, and positive energy. There is celebration, comfort, and happy dialogue. There is respect, listening, and service to others. There is gratitude when talking about the team to others.
The powerful part of communication is that we all contribute. We are all responsible for the quality of communication. Those who are the leaders are the most responsible for communication.
What are you communicating to your coaches? Look at your body language. Do you try too hard to please your coach? If so, this is a serious problem. There is an unconscious loss of respect when someone is pandering to their coach and trying to be noticed, or when he or she tries to do things to gain the coach’s praise and attention. This is too much focus on the coach and most quality coaches do not like it. They want your attention where it should be—on the play, on serving the team, not on trying to bring glory to yourself.
Are you bitter or angry toward your coach or teammates? Don’t be fooled. If you are angry, frustrated, or bitter, it will show. Our unconscious motives spill out of us whether we like it or not. If you are talking negatively about your coach or teammates with your parents or friends, it will be obvious in your face, your body language, and in the style of your play.
Jealousy or friendship is a choice. Do you look to serve your team, or do you need to be the star? Do you talk down to your teammates? Do you compare yourself to others? Your joy for your team is directly connected to the way you communicate verbally and nonverbally on and off the court. One of the fastest ways to change your team and improve your love for the game is to improve how you think about your teammates and change how you communicate with them. Joy, gratitude, hope, enthusiasm, delight, and appreciation. These qualities change teams and create an unshakable unity, dedication to the dream, and power to fulfill purpose.
If you want a powerful basketball experience, elevate the way you communicate with your coaches and teammates.
How do we communicate?
We express ideas through our words, emotions, facial expressions, and body posture. Over 90% of our communication is non-verbal.
Our inner dialogue informs our subconscious actions, our face, tone of voice, and our body language.
The quality of our relationships can be measured by our non-verbal and verbal interactions.
Think of your most challenging relationship on the court.. This challenge is heightened by the difficulties of your communication style and the non-verbal messaging that is passing between you and the other person. What is the understanding trying to be communicated between each other?
Relationship expert John Gottman has a few ways communication goes awry, and this can happen both on and off the court. The most dangerous is when people fall into negative sentiment override, which is a state of mind where you have criticism, contempt, defensiveness, or stonewalling against the other person.
Negative sentiment override leads only to negative and destructive communication. It is unconsciously created through these poor communication habits.
- Harsh startup. Instead of starting with gratitude or encouragement, they launch into what is wrong, problematic, difficult, or what the other person is doing poorly.
- Lack of emotional intelligence. A person laughs when he should listen. They push away when they should draw near, piles on blame when they should comfort.
- Refusing the emotional bid of the other. An emotional bid is when someone is consciously or unconsciously requesting a specific emotional response. We reject another’s emotional bid when we turn them away or read the situation incorrectly. Someone is feeling sad and instead we get angry. Someone is emotionally vulnerable and instead we shut them down. Someone needs encouragement and instead we criticize.
Communication requires listening, focus and attention. Some of the top communication killers for most people are:
Here is what kills your communication with your coach or teammates.
Distraction. Not listening, not remembering.
Staging. Asking questions only for the sake of setting up the conversation for their personal benefit.
Forgetting. Having to be reminded repeatedly of important aspects of the relationship.
Power imbalance. Conversations that are one-sided, selfish, or all about you.
Complaint. Complaining distances us from others and creates greater loneliness.
What Builds Strong Communication?
Love is attention. Pay attention to what the other person values. Coaches value specific actions. Find what your coach values.
Follow the energy. Energy reveals motivation and passion. Where does the conversation gain momentum and where does it lag?
Remember what matters. If that means writing down key aspects of a conversation for later, or using mnemonic tools and tricks. Remembering what someone else said and what they love is a key aspect of great teams.
Creativity. Spend time to come up with interesting and engaging questions. This is the difference between poor and mediocre conversations and life-changing ones.
We change our world when we change our words.
About NBC Basketball
Since 1971, NBC Basketball has been creating camps designed to educate the whole person, mentally, emotionally, relationally, physically and spiritually. We want athletes to not only be excellent on the court but also with their relationships and their mental toughness. For more information about NBC Basketball visit www.nbccamps.com.