September 28, 2024   |   Tagged Parenting,

How parents can improve communication with their student athletes

Parenting Communication

One startling research fact is that 70% of parents state they feel dissatisfied with the conversations they have with their student-athletes. Why do you think that is? First consider the term dissatisfaction—a state of not feeling satisfied, content, happy. What would a satisfying conversation with your son or daughter entail? For most, the frustration lies in a few key aspects: a feeling that the son or daughter is not really listening to what the parent is trying to say or instill, a feeling that the son or daughter does not have energy and engagement around what the parent would like to talk about, a feel of disconnect in what is being said. Conversational engagement is often either negative, critical of others, or apathetic.

What do parents rate as meaningful conversation with their son or daughter? Conversations that the parents enjoy are ones in which they feel listened to, admired, respected, obeyed, and where the children are fully attentive. Some children naturally have this engagement style, and some do not. The parents often dislike having to work at parenting. They like the easy child and can grow bitter toward the child they perceive to be difficult or non-conformist. Good parenting works to discover the best ways to parent and engage a child with different personalities and find tools and strategies to elevate engaging communication and conversation.

Here are ways to be a better parent communicator.

1. Find the energy. What does your son or daughter love to talk about?
2. Eliminate staging. Staging is creating the semblance of a conversation which is really a lecture in disguise.
3. Find ways to engage the world together in meaningful ways such as reading a book, watching a movie, playing a game, seeing a work of art, or serving someone. All these can build meaningful conversation and connection.
4. Praise the intangible qualities of a person rather than their accomplishments. “I love how you worked hard. I love your integrity and follow through. I love being around you because of your gratitude for life.”
5. Set a boundary. Require phones to be put away. Require good attitude during conversation. Require the son or daughter to ask meaningful questions of you. Build relationships that require mutual respect and integrity.
6. Increase forgiveness asking. When you encounter resistance, bitterness, apathy, this is time to ask forgiveness, remove blame, and accept responsibility for relationship problems. If a student is disrespecting you, get wise mentors to help uncover what is going wrong.
7. Find a quality mentor. Have a mentor watch your parenting style and give you recommendations in a spirit of encouragement and wisdom. This is a crucial way to improve as a parent.

Hey NBC Volleyball Parents,
We love that you are teachable and in being so, you raise teachable sons and daughters. We love that you communicate with compassion and therefore raise compassionate communicators. We love that you love what we love: hard work, tenacity, mental toughness, follow through, grit, integrity, humility, and joy. We are thankful for you!!

About NBC Volleyball
Since 1979, NBC volleyball has been working to help educate student-athletes, parents, and coaches on the best ways to live on and off the court. Elevating the intrinsic values of mental toughness, gratitude, grit, appreciation, hope, joy confidence, courage and inner commitment are some of the key values represented at NBC Volleyball. For more information visit www.nbccamps.com/volleyball.