January Basketball Newsletter- Servant Leadership Series: Perception

“You see persons and things not as they are but as you are.”-unknown

In this fourth series on Servant Leadership, the focus is perception. Perception is our ability to take sensory information from our environment and interpret the information to make reasonable and wise decisions. Consider the five senses and how they communicate to us. Our sense of smell can alert us there are fresh cookies baking or if the hillside is on fire. Our sense of touch can trigger a feeling of wellbeing when a loved one touches our shoulder or a feeling of concern. A person’s tone of voice can elicit a closer connection or a desire for distance.

Here is the difference- our interpretation of the information our senses give us is radically affected by our own health and wellbeing.

Sports dramatically reveal perception differences on the court. Referees and players can see the same play differently. After practice, a coach and a player can have completely different descriptions of what took place. Two coaches can evaluate the same player and come to quite different conclusions. One coach values height, the shooter’s touch, and basketball IQ. The other coach values foot speed, defensive aggressiveness, and the ability to steal. Let’s say a coach loves players who are tall, shoot well, and understand the game and a different coach loves players who are short and scrappy, defend well, and create turnovers. Each coach will champion and play athletes based on these preferences.

This month notice how your perceptions of the world are influenced by sleep, attitude, your friends, and what you read or watch. Check out the research in this newsletter on how to improve your perception of the people and events around you. Servant leaders make sure to lead from a place of peace, wisdom, and accurate perceptions. Be that kind of leader.

What Contributes to Distorted Perception

a. Emotion can distort our perception. Having no emotion isn’t the ideal because emotion connects deeply to the fabric of who we are. Emotion provides energy, passion, and motivation. Researchers found a person can honestly state they feel no emotion while their body can be pumping vast amounts of emotional energy into their heart, bloodstream, nerves, and brain. Just because you think you are not feeling any emotion doesn’t make that the truth.

Emotions are difficult therefore many people choose to stop paying attention. Not paying attention to your emotions is like not paying attention to signals when driving. If you don’t see brake lights, or stop signs, or traffic signals, you could run people over. Those who don’t value emotion run over people emotionally. Conversely, those manipulated by their emotion let their feelings rule the day. Their up and down, hot or cold, inconsistent emotional rollercoaster makes people frustrated and confused. They enslave others to their unpredictable emotions.

b. Physical health such as sleep patterns, hunger, discomfort, pain, or trauma can affect the way we perceive the world. For example, consider the person who ate a perfectly good French Dip sandwich, but became violently ill with the stomach flu. Now the person cannot stand the sight of a French Dip sandwich. Math might be the first class of the day and the morning person loves it, but the night owl hates it. Our perception of a situation can be impacted by many factors.

c. Education and resources can vastly differ across platforms. Just look at news sources, for example, two stations can report entirely different information on the same subject. A coach, parent, teacher, friend, can significantly influence our perceptions. Distortions in perception can happen from biased assumptions and incomplete education.

How to Improve Our Perceptions

Researchers found the number one way to improve perceptions is to ask questions. Laying aside assumptions, questioning your own point of view, being curious about others, having greater scrutiny about your own perceptions help point you closer toward truth.

Here are some key steps:

Watch out: Perceptions are not reality. They are important but they could be significantly flawed.

Be curious: gather all the information without jumping to conclusions. Proverbs 18: 13 says, “He who answers a matter before he hears the facts—it is a folly and a shame to him.”

Don’t label. Discernment is not about judging others' motivation and dividing them into “good” people or “bad” people. Discernment is about distinguishing good guidance from harmful messages.

This is crucial. So often a player will get into an untenable relationship with a coach or teacher.

“He’s such a bad coach. He’s a terrible person,” he says to his family and friends.

The coach has a different perspective and value set than the player. The player should say, “I struggle playing for this coach because we don’t agree completely. I value encouragement and this coach values criticism as the best mode for improvement.” This disciplined language matters because it creates space for dialogue, movement, growth, insight, and curiosity. Simply labeling people bad or good blocks our wisdom.

Similarly, we can praise a person as a “good” person, yet how many people with harmful intentions are said to be, “such a good guy?” We miss important cues because we have already labeled someone a “good” person or a “bad” person. The “bad” coach may have great ways to help us become a better player. The “good” coach might recommend something that may prove harmful to us. Discernment requires us to stop labeling and instead carefully watch for important cues and messages.

Basketball Perception

During a scrimmage, one younger player kept calling for the ball even though he hadn’t earned the shot. He called ball over and over through the two-hour practice and felt frustrated at his veteran team. Afterward, he complained loudly about never getting the ball.

A senior player pulled him aside and explained, “Begging for the ball shows you don’t understand the game. Watch that pro player there, he never has to call for the ball. He knows how to get the ball when he needs the ball. Secondly, just because you are open, doesn’t mean you deserve to take the shot. The person with the best opportunity to make the shot should shoot. The point of the game is to win, not to make sure everyone has equal time with the ball. You put in the hours on your shot to be a high percentage shooter the team can trust, then you can have the ball.”

If you are like this player and you don’t have the ball as much as you want, stop blaming the team. Get to work on your game. Don’t blame Covid-19. We have workouts and coaches who can mentor you in your house right now. Getting better is a choice.

You got this. Own your future.

A Message to Coaches About Perception

Ego is your biggest block to wisdom and insight. The larger your ego, the less you value other perspectives. One of the best high school girls’ coach in the state of Washington works for us and he is a die-hard basketball junkie. He is constantly learning, seeking, studying, asking questions. He loves to find a new drill, idea, or point of view. He tests, he researches, he dives in fully. The result? The girls are becoming some of the best players in the state.

Humility means teachability. A humble person doesn’t think less of themselves; they think about themselves less and gather information and perspective from many sources. They do not foreclose on a player but believe every student can significantly improve and it is their duty as a coach to build better players and better people.

A Message to Parents About Perception

The more conflict, strife, or chaos in the home the greater the differences in perception in the home leadership. Closing the gap on significant differences in perception can be challenging work but the outcome means greater peace, kindness, and wellbeing. Closing the gap requires listening more and assuming less. Gather all information before making a judgment. Recognize distortions in yourself that harm perception: anxiety, lack of sleep, pain, bitterness. Commit as a team to work on your own issues rather than policing other’s issues. Remember just because we perceive it, doesn’t make it real

As everyone works to improve, the gap will begin to close. During difficulty and hardship, elevating listening and slowing down help to avoid harmful outcomes. Most people get more judgmental, critical, aggravated, frustrated, skeptical during a crisis. Instead, live with extra grace, extra patience, and extra generosity of spirit.