December Basketball Newsletter-- Servant Leadership Series: Leaders Who are Healers on and off the Court

Healing is one of the most overlooked aspects of servant leadership with little written on the topic. Yet, healing could be the most remarkable aspect of a leader who transforms the world. The word heal means wholeness. A coach, teacher, parent, teammate, or friend who restores your attitude, your spirit, your soul creates a transcendent experience.

Sometimes it is easier to consider the opposite of a healer. Have you ever experienced a leader who makes life worse, who makes those around them unhealthy, who brings greater fracture, division, and “dis-ease.” What are the character qualities of that type of leader?

On the other hand, have you been with a leader who creates greater unity, hope, health, and well-being? People describe this leader as having a healing presence that brings about clear and undeniable change. A teammate who is a healer, brings the team closer, helps the team repair, and rebuild.

One great college football coach, Frosty Westering, believed in a coaching philosophy he called “red car vs. blue car.” Red car focuses on winning the game at any cost, dominating the opponent, etc. Blue car focuses on winning the moment, learning together how to be the best player you can be, winning as a byproduct with personal and collective excellence the main pursuit. Consequently, athletes LOVED Coach Westering and he became one of the most successful coaches in his field. Why? Because he was a transformative leader who coached for wholeness, and for health of the total athlete.

What kind of leader are you in your home, school, and team?

Does your leadership inspire healing and restoration of body, mind, heart, and spirit?

Research on leaders who bring healing found 6 significant characteristics. Take this month to determine how well you navigate these key qualities in your life on and off the court.

Do You Have the Healing Touch?

There are some powerful studies emerging about leaders who bring healing. Researchers define a healing presence as a presence that is peaceful, comforting, harmonious, therapeutic, and transformative. How would you describe your home, your team, your school, your workplace? Would people say there is a healing presence to your leadership?

Researchers discovered healers have these qualities. How would you rate yourself and how would a key mentor rate you?

A. Empathetic—Creates deeply meaningful person-to-person relationships

B. Compassionate—Seeks to reveal well in the context of suffering

C. Charismatic—Able to communicate visionary content in an inspiring, motivational style

D. Spiritual—Draws power and transformation from a meaningful relationship with God that brings others healing and wholeness

E. Intentional—Tenacious in the realization of a vision or goal

F. Transpersonal Communication—Able to understand accurately what another person is feeling and needs emotionally and spiritually

How did you do? How would key others in your life say you are doing?

What about peaceful, comforting, harmonious, therapeutic, and transformative?

Basketball Healers

Few people describe someone as a basketball healer, mostly because they are so rare. Let’s talk about basketball disease first. The word disease should be read in this case as dis-ease. What causes this lack of health on a team? At the lowest level of health is trouble. Teams who are in strife cause strife. Proverbs 13:10 says, “Where there is strife there is pride, but wisdom comes in those who take advice.”

If there is bitterness, jealousy, or back-biting then the root of the trouble is pride, egoism, selfishness, and vain ambition. Everyone is thinking only of him or herself. Selfishness is contagious and creates a scarcity mindset—eat or be eaten. Leaders of troubled teams lead through blame, aggression, threats, and anger.

If a team is united, there is peace, true laughter, care for others, loyalty and fidelity to the cause, passion, and deep heart for the team. The team is made of brothers and/or sisters who would die for one another. The leader of this team motivates through encouragement, self-responsibility, self-sacrifice, and healthy well-being.

The biggest difference-maker is how your team handles crisis. The crisis comes in many forms—injury, losses, pandemics, harm, difficulty, stress, pressure. Usually, the crisis comes when we are not prepared, and it comes in waves. We get knocked down, and the next wave hits before we get our footing.

Leaders who bring healing to teams are prepared for crisis. One of the notable examples in coaching history was the transformation of Tony Bennet’s Virginia basketball team. He lost in the first round of the NCAA tournament and faced tremendous shame, derision, and embarrassment. It was an unprecedented loss. He was mercilessly criticized and judged. Instead of feeling ashamed or embarrassed, blaming his team, the refs, or falling into despair, Coach Bennett jumped in the proverbial blue car and rode to win the National Championship the very next year. His tools? Encouragement, hope, thankfulness, unity, and healing.

How is your team doing in crisis? Is your team getting closer or further apart? How are you helping lead the team during a crisis? Each team member is responsible for the health and wholeness of the team.

Basketball is a game that requires the best tools for success. The 9 keys of shooting are the best tools for creating a pure shooter. The NBC One Series is the best tool for building offensive mastery. Mental toughness is the best tool in face of discouragement or criticism. Gratitude is the best tool for solving problems. Healers know the best tools for bringing well-being to a team especially during a crisis.

A Message to Coaches

Your ability to heal is directly proportionate to the health of your mentors who heal you. You cannot give what you do not have. Look at the people who mentor you. Remember a key teaching principle at NBC Basketball - a role model is not a mentor. A role model is someone you aspire to live like. A mentor is a counselor who has permission to advise, encourage, direct and recommend wisdom for your life. Who is this person for you? How healthy is this person? How do you know this person is healthy? How well does your mentor know you? How well does your mentor know your shortcomings or your inner/hidden life? What are your qualifications for a counselor to speak into your life? This is the number one most important principle of the life of a healer.

A Message to Parents
Conflict between parents creates a high level of “dis-ease” in the home. The continuum of not knowing each other, not enjoying each other, not speaking, and engaging in meaningful ways together all the way to full level conflict, fighting, cut-off, hatred, emerge out of disease in the home. A simple commitment to elevating the love, respect, compassion, and kindness between parents will dramatically bring healing. Too many parents focus on “fixing the kids” when the healing of the marital bond will foster the most healing to the home.

The most dangerous tools in a marriage according to marriage expert John Gottman are contempt, criticism, defensiveness, stonewalling. A parent who criticizes their spouse to their face, behind their back to the children or to others, creates great unrest, disturbance, violence, and criticism among parents and kids. A parent who refuses to listen to or fails to receive with respect the recommendations and needs of the other parent creates a family who refuses to listen to the requests and desires of the family members. Consider the “dis-ease” in your home and pick-up tools of a healer. The characteristics of listening and empathy that are described in previous newsletters are a wonderful place to start.