August Newsletter- Develop in Difficulty

Develop in Difficulty

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, when you encounter trials of various kinds, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” James 1:2-4

When I encountered trials growing up, I often thought, “why me?” and sometimes felt envious of those who were not having trouble. Other times when I encountered difficulty, I felt I had somehow brought the hardship on myself. I felt guilt during difficulty-- shame, discouragement or fear. I never felt consider it 'pure' joy.

Then one day during a particularly difficult time in my life, I happened to read the story of a Polish priest named Father Kolbe. He had been imprisoned for resisting the Nazis and placed in a concentration camp. Everyone in the camp knew and loved Father Kolbe. He was often singing, praying with those in need or offering his bread to others. During his time in the camp, a fellow prisoner attempted to escape. As punishment, the Nazis would randomly select 10 men to send to a bunker without food or water until they died. The guards preferred this punishment because the bunker would reverberate throughout the camp with the sounds of screams and suffering men, thereby discouraging any further attempted escapes.

As the guards began to select men for the starvation bunker, one man, Franciszek Gajowniczek, was randomly selected to die. He immediately began to beg for his life, crying out and pleading that he had a wife and child he had promised to return to. Father Kolbe immediately recommended to the guards that he be selected instead. He quickly rationalized that Franciszek was a strong and powerful man and could still do manual labor while he was old. The guards made the trade, Father Kolbe exchanged his place with Franciszek, and was marched to the starvation bunker.

The camp prisoners were crushed. Father Kolbe had been a leader of joy and hope for them. They waited in anguish for the terrible sounds to arise from the bunker. Instead, every night they heard the men singing led by the voice of Father Kolbe. After 10 days, Father Kolbe was still alive, the police entered the bunker to find him praying and holding men who had died in his arms. He was killed by lethal injection 2 weeks after entering the starvation bunker. Father Kolbe met the difficulties he faced with prayer and singing. His leadership inspired others to continue to live with dignity, power, and compassion even in the worst of human suffering.

I thought often how in my difficulties, I can be self-focused, mesmerized by my own struggles. Father Kolbe offered me an alternative response to suffering.

My dad, president and founder of NBC Camps, has stage four cancer. He has lived far longer than any doctor has predicted. If you have the opportunity to know my dad you will notice that he lives with gratitude and joy. His joy isn’t happiness but deep abiding contentment and peace. It comes with a daily decision to choose joy, to receive joy as a gift, and to remember to be grateful.

This COVID-19 has indeed been a massive difficulty. Based on rules and regulations, insurance restrictions, and many other factors, NBC Camps staff has had to postpone camps until 2021 after running consecutively for 49 years. This decision comes with the fear of disappointing people, the sorrow of diverted dreams and expectations, and loneliness emerging from separation from coaches, staff, and campers we love and cherish. It is also humbling to ask for help and it’s taken courage to navigate people who feel angry and frustrated.

Despite all the challenges and pain, our daily commitment as a team has been to work to learn to develop gratitude even in difficulty. We write 25 “gratitudes” each day, we work to spotlight and encourage each other with kindness and respect. We notice when our fear or our frustration interrupts our relationships with one another or with our families. We have had to live our mission to develop in difficulty.

Why is this important? Because we know that problem solving, health, and wellbeing, even the ability to sleep well, comes from the ability to navigate difficulty with a growth/resilient mindset instead of a fixed/fearful mindset. Seeing difficulty as an opportunity comes from a conscious and daily choice.

How to Develop in Difficulty

Choose a slogan or immediate phrase. Come up with your phrase to help remind you how you want to live: it doesn’t have to be “develop in difficulty”, it could be “win the moment”, or “rise above”, or “calm in a crisis”. Having a slogan can be your immediate reminder to choose gratitude when you get hit hard with a difficult situation.

Feel the emotion but don’t be controlled by the emotion. Emotions are important barometers that give us good information; they are not the roadmap for how we should live our lives. Emotions should be acknowledged; they should be appropriately expressed, but they should not rule our lives.

Learn to acknowledge the difficulty but do not become swamped or incapacitated by it. Momentum, hope, energy are finite resources and necessary to protect. Be very careful protecting these resources from things that rob you of them. Negative people, news, circumstances will overwhelm us if we don’t have a plan to protect ourselves from their impact. Take time to recoup from difficulty. Notice that you are in pain before you act out in pain.

Develop immediate habitual responses when you encounter difficulty. At the NBC office as soon as hardship hits, we immediately stop and pray for the will to be thankful. We choose to speak gratitude instead of feeling sorry for ourselves or complaining to others. We want our immediate response to be gratitude.

Crisis increases the desire to live in anger and frustration. Disunity is very easy in a crisis. Courageous leadership means to protect unity, to be more gracious, less touchy, more giving, less demanding, more generous, less stingy, more willing to listen.

In difficulty, work to increase these things: having fun, laughing, playing games, singing/dancing together. Focus on ways to give, to comfort, to listen, to serve, to forgive.

Basketball in Difficulty
If you are feeling discouraged about basketball, we want to encourage you! We believe in the power of individual practice time! One of our campers would pack his lunch the night before, be out the door at 7 am, on his bike to his nearby outdoor court. He would follow his written-out goals and practice plans. He was working when no one else was. Summer 2020 is your time to really separate yourself by the quality of your work ethic. Your greatest need this summer is GRIT. Working out alone is tough. We want to help you develop your grit muscles. We have virtual camps that will get you up and moving with goals, drills and NBC encouragement!

Make sure that you join us this summer for all the ways we can help you get better on and off the court.

COACHES
Learning to delight in difficulty is your first step out of the crisis. Your biggest challenge will be how to creatively encourage your students to have hope and drive to work hard when dreams have been dashed and the need for “having fun” is more attractive than working hard. As you get inspired, so will your team. As you learn, so will your team. Your energy is contagious. As you find “pure” joy in finding new ways to encourage your team, your hard work will pay off. On the other hand, if you start to complain and give up, so will your team. Encouragement is your greatest tool. Find specific ways to speak life into each of your players; this will be the oxygen needed to keep your team alive.

PARENTS
How are you holding up? This time in history may be a very painful time for you. It may be seen by you as a huge opportunity. The COVID-19 time is bittersweet. It can be full of fear, uncertainty, and confusion. But it also can be amazing to be home with our kids and get face to face time together unlike anything we have previously experienced outside of vacation. Your ability to delight in difficulty is (in our estimation) directly proportional to how well your family is weathering this crisis. One wise teacher once taught us, “You make your own weather.” Learning to love each other when we are fearful when the house is messy when the zoom call doesn’t go as planned or there is financial pressure that wakes you up at night—this is the beautiful commitment to each other, the gift we give that makes even hardship transformational.

Parents, you’ve got this. If you are bitter or angry with a family member right now, try asking forgiveness. If you are discouraged or depressed, take time to look into the face of your child, hold his or her hand, think of what a gift this moment is. If you are afraid or confused, take a walk with your son or daughter, touch something in nature like a leaf or a flower. Be present at the moment. You don’t have to solve everything right this minute.

About NBC Basketball
NBC Camps offer intensive yet fun basketball training and skill development for students across the globe. NBC Basketball has opened a dynamic virtual training program that will inspire and help hold athletes accountable to their dreams and goals. Find out more about NBC Virtual Camps at https://www.nbccamps.com/basketball/camps/nbc-virtual-basketball-camps